DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE LIKE HER?

This request I make out of my compassion for all the women, who strive day in and day out to make this world a lovable and livable place. 

I know, how hard it is, to keep all strings of life together, to keep everyday a sane perspective, look calm and collected, amidst the tempest of life, as soon as the day begins.

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I am compelled to write this post because I have seen enough of pain and stress women take. Life is full of mistakes but this year let's resolve to find out if you are a trap to any of these? 

If you know someone like her, then show encouragement and share some kind words to motivate her to achieve her purpose in life. You may share this post with her to help her gain her strength back, even if it's a drop in an ocean. 

So, I ask you to find out around you and help her find her cause :-

IS SHE ONE OF YOUR TALENTED COUSINS OR YOUR NEIGHBOR?

She was always a star. Good in academics or sports or something, she used to do so well that secretly or openly, you used to envy her.

Everyone was sure that she would make something of her life. She had that aura in her. She had that talent, which could take her places.

One day you heard she fell in love with a boy. Her marriage was fixed but the boy's condition was that she would leave her career and pursuits to take care of his home and family. 

She left everything dear to her to be with her prince charming. Now, due to some reasons, that boy's family called off the marriage and married off that boy to some other girl.

Your desperate cousin! 

What happened to her? 

She went into depression. She literally broke not her heart but her whole life.

What was her mistake? 

Nothing, except that she was in love with the thought of loving someone. Her ultimate goal was to be married to man of her dreams.

We are taught to be caring, sharing and all giving.  We are imbibed from a very young age that - one day we'd be having a husband, his family (which would be our family as well) and with kids, our life would achieve it's ultimate goal.

When we pursue individuals or people for our happiness, we meet with failure. The ultimate happiness lies in loving ourselves and making ourselves strong enough to not break ourselves in times of storms.

DOES SHE REMIND YOU OF A FRIEND OR COLLEAGUE ?

An ambitious lady, well educated, well turned up, knowing her work but confused in her thoughts, sometimes. 

She juggles between managing her home and her office work. Has the stress of both, but wants her job and can't leave the home alone. 

A demanding husband, complaining in-laws, young kids and gradually unsatisfactorily turned up office work! 

She tries to manage all this till a day when she is so ill that she decides to quit and labels herself as a failure. 

Hadn't it be better if she could have delegated a little more? This world was working even when she was not in existence and this world would work as efficiently as ever, even if she is no more. 

So, shouldn't she take a step back and decide if all these efforts are for keeping herself happy? 

Shouldn't she plan a little bit more, organize her work, do take her health as priority and be firm on saying NO to so many unnecessary burdens of life.

She needs to understand that no one is perfect and her healthy life is more important than perfection.

We stress more when we are at loss of energy. This life giving energy comes from a healthy body, mind and a clear purpose.

I am sure YOU KNOW SOMEONE LIKE HER.

One of an elderly lady, spent all her life in this perception that she devoted herself to her family and kids. 

She was an excellent cook, caretaker, mother and she spent her youth in comfort and being proud as a housewife. She lived a peaceful life. 

Her husband used to leave for work at 8.30 in the morning and used to come by the night. Kids used to go school, tuition classes and had a comfortable routine of studies and rest. She lived in bliss.

Days passed. Her kids grew up. 

They made their own choices of life partners and careers and flew away. She got devastated. 

How could the kids, she spent all her LIFE for, leave her like this? She got shock of her life. 

She had no aim in her life but to see her kids' grow up healthy and happy in front of her eyes.

Now those kids were gone. She had an empty nest. She shouted. She cried. She blamed her daughter-in-law for taking away her son. She blamed her son-in-law for not allowing her daughter to come to her. She blamed her husband for the attitude of kids and husband's disinterest in her life.

She gave all her youth, her hobbies, her interests,her entire day and night for such kids and see how they behaved!

Hadn't it been a little better if she would have given some time to her own self,too? 

Poor woman! To add to her agony, her husband retired from work a few years later. 

Now, the old man is home all the time, expecting his wife to tend to all his demands as she used to do earlier. 

Earlier, she knew when husband was off to work, she could relax and take rest but now she's always on her toes.

She became a nag, an irritated old lady who complains and has nothing to look forward to in life, to live for. She waits her husband to die or to die herself. 

Gradually, she catches so many illnesses and occupies herself with doctors, medications, therapies and what not.

When we do not occupy ourselves, others occupy us. Nature abhors vacuum. As soon as vacuum comes in our life, the webs of misery crops up. 

It's better to be productively occupied than to be occupied by unwanted cobwebs of sickness and helplessness.

Why on earth such miseries fall on good intentioned women? They had a goal of nurturing their family and worked all their lives for others, but what did they get in return? 

Sorrow, sickness, thanklessness, misery, helplessness and poor finances, to name only a few old age benefits.

Why? Because...

YOU LIVE FOR YOUR FAMILY ALONE.

You strive hard to make everyone in your family comfortable. You are a cushion but there is a difference between cushion and a punching bag. You have to see how you are doing?

It's important to live a life for our family and for others. But is that enough ? 

When we stop living for ourselves, others start living on our shoulders.They become parasites and in the name of love and care, we nurture them. Let them move their limbs, too. 

HAVE YOUR OWN ROUTINE & BE DISCIPLINED TO FOLLOW IT.

When we are undeterred by the daily storms and carry on with our work and priorities as the day breaks, we are a much calmer person.

Do not allow others to destroy your plans. There would be troubles and no two days can be alike but try to stick to your plans as far as possible.

There may be days when people use your time for their own gratification. Acknowledge it and resolve what is important to you.  

There is difference between spending time with people who cherish your company and those who use up your time and resources and still complain that next time they would not eat 'Dal Chawal' for lunch and you didn't serve cake for dessert. 

PEOPLE RESENT IF WE TRY TO LIVE OUR LIFE.

True. Who wants to be out of their comfort zone? You have provided them everything on the couch, now all of a sudden, if you develop a new interest or show a new habit, people around you may resent it. Agreed. 

So, introduce the change slowly. 

Now onward, let's start living for yourselves,too. Even an hour would do.

When we concentrate our energy into pleasing people, we deplete our core energy. Because it's difficult to please anybody at all times. 

Save your energy for big productive battles of life. Battles of getting things done. Stay away from the petty battles of 'who said what, why, when, how, to whom and for whom.' Get them out of your mind and even if you need to think over such things, designate a time frame till when you would ponder over such trivial issues. 

Think hard. Do such people, incidents or circumstances really need your reaction?

WORK IS WORK. A HOMEMAKER IS WORKING AS MUCH AS A WORKING WOMAN!

Understand and respect yourself for whatever work you do. As Mahatma Gandhi said,"work is worship." No work is inferior till we think so.

It is perceived that WORKING women are smarter, organized and better in many terms. If they are working out of their homes, their life is sometimes a little better. But, each day they also have to fight a different kind of battle.

When they are housewives or homemakers, they are disregarded even by their own friends and family as just sitting around. 

What a disgusting thought! 

They are as much WORKING, sometimes working more than the women who work outside. Just their area of specialization is different.

But the matter does not end here. Even if you are a stay-at-home person, make sure that each day you set a goal for yourself, for your betterment, for sharing your skills and education with others, who may not be related to you. This act would give you confidence.

Cultivate hobbies. It pains, when I ask women how they like to spend their free time and the response is that either they do not have free time or 'just on mundane routine work.' 

Do what you love most and see how you can improve on your given skills each day.

Here comes, a new moment, a new day, a new year and a new life with every breathe we take.Our life is made up of the moments we live. Our world is woven by the people around us. I'm sure you'd make this resolution to pass the encouraging words to every girl and every woman, who is unaware of cause of her miseries and help her make her life better. 

If you feel that you relate to any of these situations in your life then don't wait. Be the change you want to be. You can be as happy or as sad as you think. So, take a deep breathe, fill your lungs with fresh air and resolve to make this day, a day which you always wanted. 

May god grant your wish!