Why kids resort to lying? - Raising ourselves before raising our children.

Kids need love & understanding. Nothing is more important than our bonding with them, not even their studies. They need to be nurtured not forced upon with instructions. They learn by example. 

We have our careers for our reasons. Our children never forced us to bring them in this world. We brought them here because of our selfish reasons.  They were pure souls oblivious of their journey of coming into our worlds. We have a responsibility towards them.  We can't blame them. We need to take responsibility first.

I am witness to the ordeal of a small child near my neighborhood and sharing her life with you. May be it could show a mirror to many of us, who have forgotten a few things in the journey of parenting -

My mom is very beautiful; everybody says so. She's fair - complexion-wise but has never been fair enough to me. This is a real world - out of some horror story, but it's real and my mom...she's real but nobody believes me because she's too sweet to be a Monster but she turns into one, when the day descends.

Thuk...thuk...thuk...I hear her footsteps.  I shiver not due to fear but just to hear - her footsteps. 

Here she is. 'What you lazy bone doing on the floor?' She shouted and flung her purse on me. I shiver again not due to pain but because of her shrieky voice. 

My heart sinks and I fear my mom, who is as lovely as a daffodil.

'Done homework?'she started. I nod. I know either way she would shout. So I let it be.I shrug in my imagination. 

'Bring your bag and show me.' she continued with her changing and commanded not even looking at me. 

How desperately I wished a sweet word from her at the end of the day. If only I could jump into her lap and tell her everything I did in the school...my mind goes blank. 

'DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? BE QUICK.' 'I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE.' she continued. I don't get her 'Time' thing, anyway I drag my bag to the table.

'WHEN WILL YOU UNDERSTAND MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES? HANDLE YOUR THINGS PROPERLY' and she almost snatched my bag and banged on the table. I sighed. Oh! another day! I dreaded it.

'YOU LIER! WHEN YOU DIDN'T DO HOMEWORK, WHY DID U LIE?' 'WHERE U PICKED THESE DIRTY HABITS? THIS IS WHAT YOU LEARN IN YOUR SCHOOL? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FEES I PAY FOR YOUR SCHOOL?' she paused... 'TO MAKE YOU A LIER?' and she banged my head on the table.It didn't pain. I just wanted to make her happy, even if it was for a second but pleasing her seemed impossible.

It got into my head but how could I tell her that I fear her and I see no other way to confront her but to tell her what she wanted to hear but all is useless. She doesn't love me.

She started dictating me and I started noting down. I didn't get even a word, though she was talking non stop. I dozed during the homework but it's a routine. My eyes closed in hope of sweet dreams and waiting for some day when my mom would listen to me.  I want to tell her I love her so much but she's always busy doing this or that but with no time for me. 

This is not a story. We forget to see from the perspective of our children and seize to put ourselves in their shoes to know how they see things and how we can fill the gap between our thinking and their imagination.

I am sure you would have also came across a lot of parents/siblings who control the lives of their wards or juniors. It is not a new thing but it's under wraps because the one who is mightier gets the bigger loaf.

Come out. Please share your view and let others know why and how this affects the whole personality of a child. I'll be waiting for your views.